Wilkens Center For Eating Disorder

My name is Kirsten Brown and in the spring of 1993 I was living in Hong Kong with my family. I was in my senior year of high school when I came back to the United States to be treated by The Wilkens Center, but to be honest I don't really remember much from this period of my life. I was caught in the web that only an eating disorder can produce. You are dammed if you eat, dammed if you don't eat. I had always been that "type A" personality that many with eating disorders identify with. I never wanted to disappoint my family, always wanted to get good grades in school, have many friends, have the perfect boyfriend. etc....I don't really know what was the exact catalyst that started my eating disorder, but I do believe that it was a lack of self-esteem that I always seemed to carry within. Even if there was 100 people who told me that I was pretty, smart etc...I ALWAYS seemed to zero in on that one person/comment that said otherwise. When my first boyfriend suggested that I did not measure up to the models in the magazines that he idealized (it was the early 90's and Kate Moss and the "heroine chic" theme was the ideal) I began to restrict. It was slowly at first and then I began to equate the feeling of being "empty" with a feeling of achievement. The more the scale reflected a loss, the more euphoric I felt. I became obsessed in a very short period of time. In retrospect it was not the amount of weight that I lost, but more importantly the slow but steady depression that crept in. I could no longer go to school, was hospitalized in Hong Kong while multiple doctors attempted to find the source of my illness. One day my mother came into my room and said "Honey, do you think that you could be depressed?" This was such a relief. I no longer had to keep up my charade. I was not willing to give up the eating disorder that became both my friend and foe, but I was willing to admit that I needed help.



As a child I grew up in Greenwich, CT and knew Dr. Mickley who began the Wilkens Center. My parents had me on the next plane back to the United States and I began treatment at the Wilkens Center. Dr. Mickley and her staff gave me the hope for my future that I had almost given up on. She is a no-nonsense woman with a compassion that made me want to strive to get over my obsession with food that had consumed my every waking (and sleeping) thought. She by no means told me that it was going to be an easy fight, but that with constant awareness, medications to fight depression, individual therapy/group therapy and nutrition counseling I could begin to make the turn back to being a healthy and happy young lady.



I was willing to do the hard work and was able to start my first year of college that fall. The Wilkens Center remained a rock for me in times of struggle and a place where I could check in on to report my victories. It is more than a treatment center, it our own personal cheerleader. This is not just a profession to Dr. Mickley and her associates, but rather it is their mission and passion. The Wilkens Center was not just a place that helped me conquer my demons, but perhaps more importantly made be believe in myself again.



I went to The Wilkens Center a confused broken 19 year old. I had pretty much given up on life. I now am 33 years old, and am in Nursing School. I have a very healthy relationship with food and myself. I realize that anything in life that is worth having is worth fighting for.



For anyone who is confused or trapped in an eating disorder, please know that The Wilkens Center saved my life. I really don't know where I would be without them.



Thank you Wilkens Center for all that you did for me 16 years ago....you remain in my heart.