This pizza is ridiculously awesome. Best pizza in Salem? Try best pizza in Oregon. Or America. Maybe the Universe. This pizza could probably cure cancer. I cut my hand with a knife last week and just rubbed a slice of Green Monster on it. BAM! It healed up instantly, like I was f'ing Wolverine.
Another time, I stopped and got a Extra Large Power Forward on the way home from work and came across a bunch of police surrounding an apartment complex. As I pulled up, I witnessed a man dangling a baby over the third floor balcony. Without hesitation, I ran forward, pizza in hand, and just as he dropped the baby from the balcony, I threw the pizza to break its fall. Miraculously, the baby was unharmed, and the man on the balcony was dead. Cause of death? Blocked airway... a chunk of Italian Sausage, to be presice.
This pizza performs miracles. It can save lives. It can heal the sick. It can probably even get you a girlfriend. Buy this pizza today. And tomorrow. And every day for the rest of your life.