'Small Town Security'

Returns in 2013, AMC
Say you're the victim of foul play. Maybe your pet's gone MIA, or some other such chicanery. You might need a security detail. If you live near Ringgold, Ga., you might need JJK Security and Investigations -- aka 'Small Town Security,' subject of a quirky new reality TV series on AMC. But this isn't your standard-issue reality TV. Like Christopher Guest meets 'Fargo,' it's 'Law and Order' for the rural crowd.

The show follows sass-talking, potty-mouthed "Chief" Joan Koplan and her husband, "Captain" Irwin, owners of JJK. Joan's always dreamed of being a star, and Irwin's a borderline hoarder with an ever-shifting crop of hair that begs its own investigation. Since there are a few slow crime days in a town of 3,600, they shoot a lot of breeze about sex, past lives, and questionable personal hygiene.

Most fascinating is Dennis "Lieutenant" Croft, a former Y2K extremist with a complex personal life. He takes his post very seriously: "My mission is to sneak around and try get to places where I shouldn't be. And if I get caught, that's good. That's good for them."

You can't write this stuff. That's why it's a reality show. With such big personalities, it's unclear how they'd keep a low profile on a stakeout. But who cares? Even if you don't have anybody to tail, go for the conversation. You won't be bored. See It to Believe It
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'Top Chef Masters'

Wednesdays, 10|9c, Bravo
Eating at a restaurant helmed by a 'Top Chef Masters' contestant is usually a pretty safe bet. They've earned their stripes as celebrity kings and queens of the cooking world. For the recent Grand Canyon challenge, chefs were tasked with crafting a meal worthy of the Hualapai Indian tribe with ingredients from their sacred land (no pressure). The winning dish: Grilled Venison and Banana Yucca Cake with Braised Figs from Thierry Rautureau and Takashi Yagihashi.

Taste why these two won: Thierry is chef/owner of Rover's and Luc in Seattle. Based in Chicago, Takashi owns Takashi Restaurant and Slurping Turtle.

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'Design Star: All-Stars'

Wednesdays, 10|9c, Bravo
So many design shows feature mega-budget projects. $100,000 renovations, $50,000 kitchens ... Luckily for we normal folk, 'Design Star All-Stars' challenges its contestants to do more with less.

Spoiler Alert! In the season finale (aired Aug. 21), winner Leslie dreamed up a beachy kids' retreat using furniture and accessories from H.D. Buttercup and Modernica in Los Angeles. Art studio storage shelves give a rustic, on-the-docks feel. Nautical mirror, a rope-accented hanging bench, and bright pillows are affordable pops of genius.

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